Drunken Waltz
by FoamytheFoambender
Summary: Apollo has to deal with a very drunk Klavier.


Apollo stirred the straw in his soda, vaguely aware that a 22 year old in a bar should be drinking anything but. He took a small sip, instantly gagging as the drink touch his tongue. The ice had melted, leaving a watery mess in his cup. Maybe he should have a different drink. Something with alcohol. Ema was certainly enjoying her drink. Her head was tilted fully back, her mug draining into her open mouth, a small trickle of beer running down her cheek. Prosecutor Gavin was drinking his with a touch more class. The beer wasn't seeping out of his mouth.

Ema slammed the mug on the counter with a loud sigh of relief. "Yo, Bartender! Serve another!" Ema turned around. "Hey kid, why don't you grab a drink?"

Apollo cringed as Ema reached into her snack bag. He did not feel like being Snackoo'd tonight.

"I have to be sober in case you two get drunk enough that I have to keep you from doing stupid things. Like driving. Or walking."

Klavier let out a loud laugh. "Loosen up Herr Forehead! Our designated driver is Herr Wright over there!"

Apollo saw Phoenix wave a large bottle of grape juice at him and felt his heart skip a beat. If he had to pick between being driven home by a drunken glimmerous Euro-rock God, a drunken disgruntled detective, or a completely sober ex lawyer poker playing hobo, he would decide that it was time to find Mr. Hat.

Ema frowned as she recognized the song that had started blaring through the speakers.

Klavier smiled as the riffs of "Guilty Love" pounded through the bar, oddly in rhythm with the pulsing lights. He tapped his foot to the song, his head bobbing along. Apollo could have laughed. He was probably drunk enough to start singing the song and probably off key at that.

"Frauelin, why don't you try singing along? I'm sure you would be great."

Ema gave a particularly nastily loud crunch of a snackoo. "I don't think so."

"Herr Forehead?"

Apollo viciously shook his head.

The bartender slammed the mugs on the table eyeing Klavier suspiciously before moving away.

Apollo eyed Klavier warily as he gulped down another beer.

"Prosecutor Gavin? Isn't that your 6th beer? I think you've had enough."

"Ahh settle down! Was bist du meine Mutter?" What are you my mom?

Apollo noticed he was casually slipping back and forth from German to English. Two more drinks and maybe he'd start slurring in French.

Ema stood up and stretched. "Kid, Glim-Fop (As she had recently shortened it to) it's pretty late. Let's beat it okay?"

Apollo stared at Klavier. He was quite obviously drunk out of his mind.

"Yeah we should go. Come on Prosecutor Gavin."

"Fein, fein, mama." He slurred drunkenly. Fine, fine, mom.

Apollo was going to end up with a migraine.

Phoenix helped Apollo drag Klavier into the tiny car. Ema was against the left window, angrily crunching more snacks as the wedged an almost comatose Klavier next to her. Apollo sat next to him vaguely uncomfortable from the beer fumes emanating from both Klavier and Ema. Trucy was next to him half sitting on his lap with her shoulder against the top of the window. Klavier's head lolled to the side, falling onto Apollo's shoulder. Apollo had never notice how thick and soft his hair was. It was hard to miss when a clump of it was probably half way up his brain. He moved his head and sneezed. Trucy let out a strange sound, and Apollo saw that she was extremely red, her lips pressed so hard together they had turned white, and she was fanning her face with her hand in a desperate attempt to not let out a wild giggle. Apollo had the sudden urge grab a pair of scissors and snip off his hair.

"Sind wir da noch Herr Forhead?" Klavier muttered Are we there yet, Herr Forehead?

"Listen to me Mr. Gavin. I. DON'T. UNDERSTAND. YOU."

Phoenix let out a loud laugh.

Ema kicked the car door, making it scrape across the pavement. She peeked into the car as Trucy slid into the seat, still red in the face. Take care, kid… Glim-fop, don't pass out in his office okay?"

"Gute Nacht, um Sie zu, Frauelin." Good night to you too

Ema scoffed as she slammed the door shut.

Phoenix started the car. When it got to a reasonable speed, he saw Trucy suddenly grab the headrest in front of her. He slammed on the breaks smashing Apollo's head into the headrest in front of him, and sending Klavier's face into his lap.

A stifled chuckle from the front of the car made Apollo realize what they were up to. This was going to be a long night.

"Klavier. Get up. You're sleeping over tonight. Now stand up."

"Ja, ja, mama. Funf minuten bitte."Yeah, yeah, mom. Five more minutes.

"No Klavier, NOW." Apollo's officially couldn't feel his knees.

Phoenix innocently whistled while Apollo struggled to roll the drunken prosecutor off him. Phoenix grabbed Klavier's arm and slung it across his back, pulling him up the steps while letting out a hearty laugh.

Phoenix passed his hand over his face, failing at composing it into a calm mask.

"Apollo, I think you have to share a bed with Mr. Gavin. The bed is barely big enough for myself. Or… do you want him to share a bed with my darling Trucy?"

"… I'm afraid of you Mr. Wright."

"I believe we've come to an agreement."

"I hate you so very much."

"Thank you."

Apollo edged into his bed, facing the wall, and extremely nervous. Klavier was already in the bed, sleeping deeply, and probably dreaming of his fangirls worshipping him at his feet. Phoenix was also fast asleep, snoring two beds away with a small smirk spread across his face. Apollo stared at the wall, and was surprised to find that he was very tired. Klavier made no sound behind him did not even move. If Apollo didn't know any better, he would have thought that he was dead. Apollo calmed down quickly, and he fell asleep.

Apollo first noticed two things. First, it was much too early for him to be awake. Second, he felt an odd amount of pressure on his back and waist. Trucy was already awake, early bird that she was, and was laughing hysterically into a pillow she had taken from her bed in order not to wake anyone up. Klavier had wrapped his arm tightly around Apollo's waist, and had buried his face into the area between Apollo's shoulder blades. Apollo wanted to die. A flash of light and a click sounded, and Apollo turned his neck to see that Trucy had a small camera propped in her hand. The second his face turned, he was blinded by another flash and Trucy skipped away, aware that Apollo would not move while Klavier was so securely sleeping next to him. This was humiliating. He was close to killing Klavier and then Trucy herself. Apollo wondered if he could slide his way out of his grasp, then realized that if Klavier didn't wake up, he would either be putting Klavier's face into the back of his neck, or his ass. Either way, not pleasant. Klavier pushed his face further into Apollo's back and wrapped his arm tighter around his waist. Apollo would have to change his name and move out of the country… maybe he should have a foreign name like… Odoroki Housuke…. Or something. Apollo wondered how Klavier made due when he slept alone. Unless he had a giant teddy bear he cuddled with. Which meant that Klavier basically thought Apollo was a teddy bear. Joy.

Apollo had had enough. He tensed his back, ready to wrench Klavier's arms from him.

"Good morning, Herr Forehead." Klavier chuckled quietly.

"You were awake weren't you?"

"Ja."

"The entire time?"

"You mutter in your sleep." His voice was light and full of joy. This man needed a hangover damn it.

"I hate you soooo much." Apollo growled.

"That's not what you said last night, Herr Forehead."

Apollo used all the strength he had in his body to throw Klavier to the floor. He stomped off to get read for breakfast.

Klavier just laughed.

End


End file.
